So, this happened.

It's St. Patrick's Day and SXSW, and I have to come down 6th Street to get home from work, so as you might imagine, traffic was awful today and there were hordes of hipsters in skinny jeans and ironic t-shirts crawling all over the place and impeding progress. I was stopped at a red light (please note: THE LIGHT WAS RED) when the dude in the pick-up truck behind me started honking obnoxiously and repeatedly, because apparently he wanted me to run the red light or something. After several sustained honkings, I raised my right hand and gave him the finger (which is not something I often do, but I have been known to unsheath my fuck-you finger in traffic when the occasion calls for it). The light turned green and off I went.

At the next light, he pulled up right next to my car (as close as he could possibly get to my car, like, encroaching into my lane and everything) and started yelling and motioning for me to roll down my window, which I did. I should note at this point that he looked to be at least 45 or 50 years old with a beer gut, was wearing a City of Austin uniform, and had a pornstache. Our conversation follows:

Jackass in pick-up: Who you flipping off?

Me: Who you honking at?

Jackass: You know what happens to little girls who flip men off?

Me: You know what happens when you honk at me? I flip you off.

Jackass: You'd better be careful who you flip off next time.

Me: Thanks for the tip.

Jackass: The next guy might not be so nice.

Me: Yeah; you're a real prince.

Then the light turned green and Jackass Pornstache swerved across five lanes of traffic to continue on his way. He seems fun. I'll bet he gets invited to a lot of dinner parties.